


curiosity is... good

by ii_lysander



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Buck can't say no to Eddie, Buck knows it too, Coming Out, Eddie is sexy and he knows it..., Fluff, Friends to... Something else, Humor, Kinda Crack, Light Angst, Literally one dad joke, M/M, Smut, Very curious Eddie, but not really?, experimenting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-11
Updated: 2019-11-15
Packaged: 2021-01-28 21:55:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21399265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ii_lysander/pseuds/ii_lysander
Summary: (1) Buck comes out. Eddie reacts in thebestway possible.(2) Eddie's curiosity on Buck's sexuality leads to some awkward conversations, and a very questionableexperience*wink wink*(3) Chim and Hen are the best.(4) The aftermath of saidexperienceis a beautiful disaster, in a good way... if that makes sense
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Comments: 18
Kudos: 162





	1. curiosity is... good

**Author's Note:**

> My first fic. Don't be so harsh please :) This is a byproduct of me procrastinating on my responsibilities.
> 
> Chapter 3 is now up! It got out of hand lol, I just love the prospect of Buck being a disaster bi.

* * *

Buck recently just came out to his partner, Eddie. Now that Buck thought about the event, as he likes to call it _The Coming Out™_, it didn't exactly play out the way he imagined it. 

.

.

.

Buck remembers being nervous. It was a relatively peaceful afternoon with no calls so far, so the station 118's atmosphere was a bit sluggish. Not that Buck was complaining. It gave him enough time to psych himself up. 

"You got this, Buck," he says outloud in front of his locker. He then proceeds to waggle his arm a bit, doing quick breathing exercises and chanting a '_mama raised no coward', _and a _'maddie raised no quitter.' _He continues on working his nerves up for about a minute or so before.. 

"You trying to make a fight with your locker or something?" 

Buck turns and spots Eddie leaning near the entrance, arms crossed, a small lopsided smile already etched on his face, clearly entertained. 

_Of course he's there. _They always sort of gravitate towards one another. One cannot stay without the other for too long because god knows _bad things happen_ if they don't. It's an unrefutable fact and the pair knows this themselves, heck even the whole 118 knows this too. They're inseparable like that. 

"Nah man. Just.. you know, making my body alert in case of a call." Buck thanks his brain for supplying him with a believable answer. 

"Right..." Eddie drawls, disbelieving. "And somehow, your mother and Maddie raising you has something to do with that?" Eddie makes his way to Buck's side, smile full blown now. 

Buck takes a deep breath. _This is it. No turning back now. It's now or never. _

_Here goes nothing. _

"I'm bi." There it is. _The Coming Out™. _

And then there's _Silence_™. As silent as a firehouse could be (which is still loud even with the sluggish activity, to which Buck is thankful for). It means he can focus on the outside noise, and not this deafening silence from Ed-

_"_Hi, _Bi,_ I'm Eddie," says him with all the seriousness he could muster. 

_What. The. Fuck. _

"You know, you really have a knack for creating weird nicknames. What, you choose _Bi _so it rhymes with my _G.I.?" _

Buck scoffs. Because _what the fuck. _"Did you just make a dad joke? Right now?" 

"I'm a dad, Buck. I'm entitled to use those." 

And just like that, Buck's nervousness seeps out of him like honey. He releases a shaky breath, locks eyes with Eddie. And he's smiling because Eddie is fucking _beaming_, his eyes crinkling. Suddenly, Eddie closes the distance between them, arms wide and then goes in for a hug. 

Buck takes a moment before returning the hug because _what the hell was he nervous for. _It's Eddie. Of course he understands. 

.

.

.

He doesn't understand. 

They were in Buck's loft, sitting by the bed. Buck's with his phone with his back placed comfortably by the headboard, while Eddie is at the far edge, browsing his laptop. 

"So you like both men and women right?" 

Buck huffs. It's the _19th _time he asked that question ever since _The Coming Out™. _Their relationship pretty much stayed the same, save for Eddie's repeated questioning. 

"Yes" 

"But I have only seen you with women. Abby, the redhead reporter," Eddie pauses for a bit and remembers, "Taylor Kelly right?" He looks at Buck who just nods his head. "And then Alli," Eddie completes. 

"That doesn't make me less bi." 

A few moments later, Buck hears Eddie typing something, hears him hit enter and then Eddie is showing him his laptop's screen. Displayed are various pictures of latino men.

"So, does this turn you on?" A genuine curiosity is in Eddie's face it's somewhat _disconcerning._

Buck blanches. "What's up with the questions, man." Buck makes a _what the fuck _expression when his eyes meet the screen. "Did you suddenly turn eighteen or something?" 

"Hey, I'm curious. I've been busy with my tours all my life. With Chris too and the LAFD. I really didn't have much time learning about this. You know how it was in Texas too" 

"Yes," Buck gives, says it in a defeated tone. He realizes it's better this than Eddie not accepting him at all. "Uh, but not really." 

"What do you mean 'not really'? But you just said-" 

"I don't know them enough to be turned on by them." Buck shrugs. 

Several moments pass without them saying anything. 

_That sure shut him up. _Buck thinks and he's thankful for the short break that answer gave him.

He glances up from his phone to check on Eddie only to find the other man staring at him with creased brows. Buck clears his throat. And then regrets it immediately. It breaks Eddie's stupor but then he was back to questioning. _Great. _

_"_You don't know them enough to be turned on by them_," _Eddie echoes slowly, more for himself rather than Buck, in a low hushed voice, as if trying to break it down word by word to uncover its meaning. "Have you been with guys already?" Eddie asks. Buck then notices his change in demeanor; Eddie's eyes seem darker, his expression calm but unnerving. 

Only by then did Buck realize how his statement sounded. _Oh shit. _


	2. crossing the line? not so much...

* * *

Buck is all over the place today. He's currently absentmindedly staring down a teaspoon on the table at the firestation's kitchen. His mind however is elsewhere. Back in his loft, replaying _The Thing™, _whatever that entails. 

.

.

_"Fucking beautiful." Eddie was everywhere. His hands on his face, his neck, his arms, and then on his waist. Hazel eyes staring into his blue ones, never breaking eye contact. His body encasing Buck's, his scent so fucking enticing. Buck was holding him close, skin heated with contact and Eddie just plung- _

"What did the spoon ever do to you Buck?" A soft laugh from Hen brings him back from his reverie. 

Buck groans loudly, clearly frustrated with the way his thoughts keep coming back to _The Thing™_. Where was he? Right.. on his way to make coffee._ Because that'll sure help him calm his nerves. _

_"_Nothing. Just-", Buck pauses, exhales then continues, "-not feeling like myself today." He finally grabs hold of the teaspoon, uses it to stir his cup. 

"Funny story," Chimney interjects, making his way from the stairs to the pair at the kitchen table, mouth full with the bread he's currently eating. He chews for a few moments, swallows, Buck and Hen just staring at their friend who didn't ever learn how to chew first and speak later. 

"What's with the judgmental eyes, jeez." Chimney bites another piece, smaller this time. "Anyway, something's off with Eddie." 

Buck visibly tenses, and then curses himself. _Conceal. Don't feel. _He remembers from the singing ice lady from the most recent movie he watched with Christopher. He then just opts to sip loudly from his cup of coffee.

Chimney and Hen share a look. "It's weird. He's been rolling and unrolling the fire hose for like 5 times now," Chimney continues. "He's probably still at it right now." 

The pair's gazes find Buck's guilty ones, Buck's mouth and nose still concealed by the cup. 

"Did you two have a falling out again?" concern lacing Hen's voice. 

Buck puts his cup down_. "_Falling out," Buck mouths, scoffs bitterly. _Because that's what happened_, sarcasm plaguing his thoughts. 

Buck plasters a smile, more for his sake than them. "No guys, we're fine I promise." They don't hear the sound of someone coming up from the steps. "Eddie and I? We're-" 

Buck then spots Eddie at the top of the staircase, hands still on the rail. "-just peachy." The words die in his mouth. From this distance, he could just make out the brown spot just peeking out of Eddie's shirt, just below his clavicle. A mark Buck remembers putting on Eddie. 

Eddie finds his gaze. 

He remembers he has one too. 

_Oh no, not again. _

_._

_._

_Buck recoils slightly as Eddie's stubble peppered face grazes his neck and shoulder. Eddie breathes in deeply, then exhales in short breathy laughs with Buck's reaction. Eddie snuggles further into his neck, covers all spaces he could cover with kisses. _

_The action feels too... _intimate. _Too _loving _just to be called experimenting. Buck places both hands on each of Eddie's shoulders, pushing slightly. "Eddie, wait, this isn't-" _

_Something warm and wet grazes his shoulders, and just like that, Buck's resolve is gone, his thoughts just repeating, "Eddie, Eddie, Eddie." He finds his hands clasped behind Eddie's neck, doing just the opposite of what he was about to do earlier. He pulls Eddie in and he _groans_, feels him marking him by the shoulder. _

It's too much. Too fucking much. _Buck thinks. _

_._

.

Eddie breaks his gaze, turns around abruptly, and begins his descent, his steps on the metal stairs loud, snapping Buck back to reality. He feels _fucking hot _and_ so winded up, _and he's now hyperaware of the piece of skin in his shoulder. Buck absentmindedly massages it, his stare still at the space where Eddie was a few moments ago. 

"_Wow,"_ Hen states while comically fanning her face with her hands. 

"Yeah, _wow _indeed," Chimney adds, then proceeds to help Hen fan her face with his other hand that doesn't have his sandwich. When he bites down on his food yet again, he notices something. 

"Um Buckaroo, you might want to, uh, _readjust," _Chimney emphasizes, staring directly on Buck's eyes, and not on his _Situation™ _down _there. _

In that precise moment, Hen chooses to look down and, "_Gross... _Buck_!" _She immediately turns her head away, stating an aghast "I did _not_ want to see that." 

Unbeknownst to them, Buck really isn't listening. He can't fucking concentrate even as he eyes Chimney and Hen. His face is dead set into a frown and an intense resolve is gathering in his heart. 

Buck leaves abruptly, spares no glance to the pair now behind him as he makes his way towards the stairs, to _where ever the fuck Eddie went to. _Buck feels himself psyching up again and it's reminiscent of the way he worked up his nerves when he did the _Coming Out™, _only now, it's for an entirely different reason. 

* * *

_Meanwhile, back upstairs..._

"Do you think they'll-" Chimney eyes Hen, words need not to be completed for Hen to understand. 

"Nooo," Hen shakes her head, consistent at first, but it slows down rather quickly until her head stops. 

They stare at each other for a few moments before their expressions become solemn. The pair then nods their heads, muttering a simultaneous and drawn out, "_yes." _

_"_Should we tell Cap?" 


	3. of awkward conversations and buried feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A continuation of chapter 1... yes, I love skipping timelines and flashbacks, flashforwards, sue me.

Buck has decided a while back now to stop his burgeoning feelings for Eddie. It wasn't easy, not in the least. It was a _struggle. _But he succeeded, _god_, he succeeded and he will always be proud of that. It was back then when Shannon decided to come back to Eddie's life. Buck noticed the not so subtle changes in Eddie. He was happier, smiles more often. His expressions were unrestrained, like Shannon coming back removed one of his masks to reveal a brighter version of himself. 

.

.

_"Man, you should have seen Christopher's face when he saw Shannon!" Eddie was smiling like he just won the lottery or something. "I've never seen him so happy."_

I've never seen you this happy. _Buck thinks. He feels uneasy. _

_Eddie continued his uncharacteristic word vomit. "Did you know it was his Christmas wish to see her? I didn't know what I was thinking! Hiding Shannon, _his mother-," _he makes a _can you believe face, "-_from him. He missed her so much he hasn't left her side since yesterday." _

_Eddie has this melancholic look on his face when he says, "I didn't even realize-," he paused for a few moments, as if coming to a realization. "-I missed her too." And then his smile was back, even brighter this time, eyes glassy from happiness. "My family is whole again." _

_Buck can hear his heart shatter, can feel it breaking inside his chest. He should be fucking ecstatic for his best friend, even more so for Christopher for their reunion with Shannon but he can't bring himself to smile and he hates it. _

_When Buck actually smiles at Eddie, it's fake and he _despises_ himself for it. _

_It was at that exact moment that Eddie notices it. Buck knows that he knows it's fake. He sees Eddie falter, his smile winding down. Eddie looks panicked for a bit, wide-eyed. Another realization dawning on his face. He slowly reaches for Buck's arms._

_The touch was as light as a feather as if Eddie was afraid Buck would bolt at the opposite direction at any moment, and to be perfectly honest, Buck feels_ exactly _that way. No doubt about it. Buck can feel Eddie's imploring gaze as he eyes the ground. He's scared that if he as much as look at Eddie's eyes, it would tell the truth. _

_The truth that he has feelings for him. That he wants to be the one to make Eddie smile like that. That he wants to be the one Chris is spending time with. That he wants to be the one who completes their family._

_Buck steels himself. He realizes how _awful_ this sounds. That he can't be happy for them because it wasn't him doing those things when in fact, the only important thing that should matter right now is that they're happy. Buck remembers how he fucking wanted the same thing, a complete family, with Maddie, his mom and his dad. _

_So he smiles, for real this time, and he meets Eddie's eyes. _

_"I'm happy for you."_

_._

_._

So, Buck decided to just become Eddie's best friend and nothing more. No feelings at all, _nuh-uh. _But seriously, Eddie is _pushing it. _

"What do you mean 'have I been with guys already'?" 

Eddie has moved from the edge of the bed to Buck's side to mimic his position, with his back on the bed's headboard just like him, legs stretched out in the mattress. He brought his laptop on his way and it is now sitting comfortably in his lap, screen still showing the same pictures of latino men. 

"It's a simple question." 

"I know," Buck drawls out. "I meant," he sighs, "why are you asking me this?" 

"I want to get to know you more." Eddie closes the laptop, puts it at the small table beside the bed. 

"You already know everything about me."

"Buck, it's a yes or no question." 

"No." 

"No?" 

"Yeah." 

"Yeah? I'm sorry. Could you clarify? That was confusing." Eddie has this scrunched look on his face, Buck can't help but huff out a laugh. 

"I haven't... yet. I told you I'm new to this." _Lies. _

Not the 'not being with guys part.' It was true. What wasn't true is being new to liking guys. Liking _a guy, _to be more specific. But he buried those feelings a long time ago. 

Eddie seems satisfied with the answer though. He nods and smiles to himself as he stares at the space in front of him but focusing on nothing in particular. 

"Why are you smiling like that?" 

Eddie ignores the question, still smiling dopily. He crosses his legs indian style and turns to Buck. 

"Oh. _Oh._ You think I don't have game when it comes to guys, is that it?" Buck is on the defensive. "You know what?" Buck grabs his phone from the bedside. "I'm downloading Grindr, right now." 

"Grind- what now?"

"_Grindr._ It's a dating app, but like for queer folks." 

Buck hasn't even had the chance to unlock his phone before it was snatched away from him. He sees Eddie place it on top of the laptop. 

"Come on man. It will be fun!" Buck tries to coax Eddie, tries to reach his phone at the table by Eddie's but the other man is not having it. They do a half-hearted struggle on each other trying to gain possession of the phone. 

Buck gives, sits back to his original position, body bouncing a little by the bed. 

"You're curious and you want answers, right? Well, I do too," Buck tries once more. "Besides, I have been single for so long now I think I'm going celibate. It didn't work with gals, so maybe I should try my luck with guys. Who knows, maybe I'm destined to be with a man." Buck wiggles his eyebrows to Eddie for added effect. 

"I do want answers, and I agree. I think you _are_ meant to be with a man." Eddie sniggers, a small smirk in his face.

"See? You think so too!" Buck's excitement is palpable in his voice. "But that will not happen unless I have my phone back. Just give me back my phone and let me meet _my man!_" 

"Do you seriously think you'll met _your man-_" Eddie speaks the word mockingly, "-in some shady app you found online?" 

"Then what do you suggest, huh?" Buck challenges Eddie, his brows high in his forehead.

"I don't know," Eddie says with a shrug. 

Buck exhales loudly, clearly exasperated. "I don't get you. At all." He stands up and heads for the bathroom. He's still relieving his bladder when he hears muffled noises outside the door. He briefly wonders what Eddie is up to now. He smiles a bit. To be honest, Buck thinks Eddie's questions are kind of endearing and not at all intrusive. There's a reason why he came out to Eddie first, after all. He feels comfortable with him.

Meanwhile, outside, the muffled noises continue. He's weirded out because it sounds a lot like moans, grunts and repetitive slapping noises. 

_Moans. Grunts. Repetitive slapping noises. _

_Fuck. His phone. _

Buck shakes and wiggles his thang, flushes, snaps his sweat pants back, quickly washes his hands by the sink, not bothering to dry them anymore before he is dashing outside. He notices Eddie's stunned expression as he stares down the phone in his hand. He's too dazed to even notice Buck's rapidly reddening face as he scrambles towards him.

_"Quiero sentirte dentro de mí papi"_ he hears the guy from the porn video say sultrily. 

Buck snatches the phone from Eddie's grasp, flicks the phone screen and just like that, the dirty sounds from the the phone are cut abruptly. The pair suffers in a tense few moments. Both of them still reeling and processing what in the world just happened. 

Buck literally cannot look at Eddie right now. Can't even move from where he stands by the bed. He's fucking _mortified._

Eddie fares no better. In Buck's periphery, he can see Eddie seemingly surveying the room with his eyes, the shelves, cabinets, windows, the ceiling. Everywhere except in Buck's general direction. He can hear the periodic _tap, tap, tap_ sound Eddie makes with his right hand on his left arm, just above his elbow. 

Buck decides he can't take it anymore. 

"Look, man. It's not my fault if you-"

Suddenly, Eddie cuts him off. 

"Do you wanna know what the guy said?" Eddie's voice is low, tinged with something Buck can't quite put his finger on. 

But Buck already _knows._ He watched that video enough times now to be curious enough to search what those guys were saying. And so, Buck opts to stay silent and just gulps. 

Eddie takes Buck's silence as a yes and continues. 

"_Quiero sentirte dentro de mí papi" _Eddie echoes, the words sounding so _right_ in his mouth. 

Buck's eyebrows are rising. His hair in his arms are rising. His heart rate is rising. His thang is rising. 

"The guy said 'I wanna feel you inside me, _daddy'_" 

Buck faux faints. He just lays there by the floor staring at the ceiling, pondering what on earth did he do to deserve this. 

**Author's Note:**

> The response was really flattering guys. 
> 
> Coming up soon will be _of awkward conversations and buried feelings pt.2_, _The Thing™_ (the complete one and not snippets just like in ch.2), and _The Confrontation™_
> 
> Hope to keep your interest :) Comments are very much appreciated so I can improve.


End file.
